Living spiritual motherhood - every woman can be a mother
Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash
One of the great things about being the mother of a large family is that there is always someone to hand the baby to when you need a few minutes to get something done. One of my little girls is the ‘go-to’ second mum in the house and she delights in being her little brother’s first choice!
Recently, while I folded laundry and she entertained him, she asked me a question that I wasn’t expecting: “Does every girl become a mother when she’s older?” I’ll admit I was a little stunned and initially I wasn’t quite sure how to answer her. My default answer when I need to buy more time is always, “Oh, that's an interesting question - why do you ask that?” She just shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I don't know…it’s just that, I hope I get to be a mother when I grow up.”
Later as I reflected more on her question, I realised there was probably a little more depth to what she meant. In her worldview, mothers to her are all the married women with a family around them and those women she knows who are single, don’t have actual biological children. Perhaps what she was actually asking was - will I have a biological child?
Every woman is called to be a mother
We've often heard the phrase "being called" to something. What does that word "calling" really mean? If something is written in our nature, then in a sense, we feel a particular pull towards it. It draws us in. It might manifest itself in different ways in different women, but ultimately the calling of motherhood is there in all women.
When Edith Stein - later St Teresa Benedicta - said that all women can be mothers, what she was referring to was the reality that motherhood is not only biological but spiritual as well. She said “the woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.” How true that is.
Maternity is also spiritual
She went on to say that “the world doesn’t need what women have, it needs what women are.” Well, motherhood is part of the very essence of our femininity - of what we are and what we were made to be. It is written into our bodies that women can bear children, but regardless of whether or not we have biological children every woman still lives out that calling of motherhood.
We may not have biological children, or they may not be here on earth with us anymore. Or indeed we may have adopted or fostered children in our lives. Or perhaps we are living the single life - either through choice in celibacy or current circumstances.
In all the wonderful and varied ways we live our lives as women, what ways can we live out our spiritual motherhood?
1. Look to Our Lady
The ultimate model of motherhood is Our Lady and she is the one to look to and imitate always, but particularly in this month of May. She took all the moments and events of her life and “pondered them in her heart.” Meaning she contemplated and considered: she prayed. This is something we can do for others around us as well. To really pray and think about their needs, their hopes, their concerns. With that pondering and thinking of the other, which is so much a part of our femininity, is the tendency to worry. So we need to be mindful that our pondering does not descend into obsessive and useless ruminating. Although our Lady was the perfect creature and we might, in contrast, see our defects alive and kicking in front of us, we can take from her the great example of trying to see things in God’s light and helping others to do the same. This is what her ‘pondering’ really was. As women, we have the natural drive to help others and we can live out our spiritual motherhood by encouraging others to view their problems and concerns with the clarity and perspective that only God can have, and this is a skill we can learn so excellently from the strength and wisdom of Our Lady.
2. Listen, advise and comfort
How many times as women have we offered a listening ear, comfort or consolation? To our colleague at work who is spinning all the plates and is about to crumble under the pressure? Or to the young mum on the school run who is deep in the trenches of mothering and wondering if she will ever sleep again? Or to the recent widow who is grief stricken and questioning if she'll ever feel like herself again?
As women, we have a special gift to nurture others - to protect them even - and we have an ability to ‘listen’ to more than what’s being said. We can see beyond to pick up on needs that aren’t being vocalised. There is a receptivity in women that can often be mistaken as simply being passive, that we just 'take on' what others want. And the connotation of that word can quickly denigrate us as being the weaker sex - not an equal one.
However, in a true understanding of that word, we come to see that women embrace and shelter. In being 'receptive' we can literally and physically receive to bear a child, but we can hold others in a spiritual way too - and that takes great strength, resilience and courage. And it's from that receptivity and openness to others that we take action. We see what people need, what is good for them and we can act accordingly.
3. Craft souls in your workplace
In his Letter to Women in 1995, St John Paul II specifically thanked women for the unique contribution they make in the world of work.
“Thank you, women who work! You are present and active in every area of life-social, economic, cultural, artistic and political. In this way you make an indispensable contribution to the growth of a culture which unites reason and feeling, to a model of life ever open to the sense of ‘mystery’, to the establishment of economic and political structures ever more worthy of humanity.”
Women make wonderful guides and mentors to others. We can give practical wisdom and encouragement to our colleagues. We can help to motivate and inspire. We can show others how to choose things that will bring them out of their professional comfort zone, that may well be tough and challenging, but done with a love and tenderness that values the relationship first. I'm forever grateful to the wonderful women I have known in my professional life who have, at times quite literally, taken me under their wing when I felt incapable and inadequate. And let me just clarify: at the risk of sounding unrealistic or sentimental, being an encouragement and a shelter doesn't mean being a walkover. Part of exercising motherhood is firmness and correction when necessary, especially when someone isn't giving of their best and it's impacting others.
The wonderful spiritual benefit of all of this is that within the workplace, women are uniquely placed to help people to see the love of God more clearly and consistently in their lives. In being a source of strength and encouragement, they are mirroring something of the life of Christ in very real, tangible and practical ways. It might be a listening ear, helping to work through a problem, a hot cup of coffee just when it's needed, or a gentle push in the right direction.
The world needs mothers
As women, it is our privilege to protect and nurture. To show others around us what is good, true and beautiful. Our maternity is what allows us to bring a distinctly feminine aspect to all parts of life. In your spiritual motherhood of others, you really do possess life giving encouragement…and the world needs it!
