Growing in Friendship with Jesus Christ this Advent

Photo by Laura Nyhuis

We all know what it is to have a friend and be a friend to others. Friendship is a bond we create with someone which allows us a space where we can really be ourselves without any fear. A true friend supports and helps us through the ups and downs in life; someone who is there for us not only when the going gets tough, but also in times of joy. 

Can I be friends with Jesus?

When it comes to talking about friendship with Jesus, we could ask ourselves is this the same as ‘normal’ friendships? Maybe we imagine Jesus as someone out there who protects us and guides us in times of trouble and difficulty. Someone who knows all about us and loves us. Maybe Jesus isn’t even on our radar much at all. Could he really be a friend? A pal? Well, Jesus himself answers this question in the gospels.

“I do not call you servants any longer, because servants do not know what their master is doing. Instead, I call you friends because I have told you everything I heard from my father.”

The short answer is yes. We can become a friend of Jesus. He is really and truly interested in everything about our lives; even the things we consider mundane or ordinary. To become ‘friends’ with him simply takes a desire and a willingness on our part to make an effort. 

Advent is a perfect time to start on this journey. While we might be tempted to skip straight to the Christmas festivities, having a period of time to wait and prepare spiritually for the birth of Christ is a great way to slow down and remind ourselves of the real reason for the season!

Ways to Grow in Friendship with Jesus

We might be wondering where to start? Much like we might develop ‘human’ friendships, there are many easy ways to grow in friendship with Jesus and get to know him every bit as much as our other friends. Here are 3 easy ways we can get started.

• Spend time in His company talking to Him 

This doesn’t mean we have to do strange things, or travel to exotic places to find Him. He is right there before us if we can just stop and listen and look for Him. Talking to Him means using simple language and words that come from our hearts that let Him know exactly how we are feeling. We can tell him about our worries and fears, but also let him know about our joys and ambitions. He wants to hear it all and is happy when we can take the time to share these with Him. We don’t have to pretend to be someone we aren’t.

• Create spaces to listen to Him

Nowadays we tend to rush around a lot and fill ourselves with noise and clamour and this is especially true at this time of year. It is hard to find a space where silence reigns but we need to find it if we want to grow in friendship with Jesus and hear His voice. He never imposes Himself and gives us complete freedom so we need to quiet the other ‘noise’ to hear Him.

Recently Pope Francis wrote that wisdom means knowing how to give up some of the time we spend in front of the telephone screen in order to look at the light in our own heart, to look at God’s gaze on us, to look into the eyes of others. Not to fall into the trap of activism - always ‘doing’ something.

Let silence happen. It’s a bit like turning all the electricity switches off at night. We need to allow time for silence to dominate us, to take hold of our inner and external worlds so that we can learn how to hear the word of God.

• Learn to do what He tells you 

Close friends become alike. They end up imitating one another and adopt their gestures and mannerisms. We too will find ourselves copying Jesus when we spend more time with Him. One way of learning more about the figure of Jesus is through reading the gospels, those precious stories about his life and miracles and teachings as He walked many pathways in the Holy Land healing people and doing good. 

Reading the gospels will also help us grasp more deeply the power of His love for us. How this love is of such magnitude that He gave up His life for each one of us. Few people will ever manage to do this for their friend and yet Jesus held nothing back. He gave himself fully by dying on a wooden cross amidst criminals and thieves. 

The consequences of becoming friends with Jesus

Friendship with Jesus will change us. Take Mary Magdalene for example and Martha and her sister Mary. These women were changed from meeting Jesus and getting to know Him better. Mary Magdalene was a sinner and a woman tormented by several devils. But because of her friendship and trust in Him, she is one of the first people that Jesus appeared to when He rose from the dead, calling her by her name. And even though Jesus gently chides Martha for rushing around the house while her sister Mary sits at His feet like a faithful dog lapping up His words, He loves these two women dearly. 

And He loves us too. We just need to take the time to savour and absorb this more deeply - to actually believe it. Jesus has made us, so He knows us intimately and therefore friendship with Him has to be miles ahead of our ‘ordinary’ friendships. Jesus can see right through us and yet He still holds us up and loves us as we are. This is an astounding fact that can take time to understand better. 

Friendship with Jesus will be a deeper experience than normal friendships, and yet it will enable us to bring so much more to those friendships. When we can rest in His silence and listen, we will be empowered to move beyond ourselves and give ourselves more to others. We will be loving as He loves.

St Teresa of Avila once wrote that if Christ Jesus dwells in a man as His friend, that person can endure all things for Christ. When we cultivate silence and discover Jesus, we will learn from Him how constant prayer can help us interpret our life better. As a good friend of Jesus, we will find ourselves making better decisions about our lives and accepting our ‘vocation’ or role in life in a deeper and richer way. In addition, we will discover the talents that God has given us and find it easier to do His will at every hour of every day.

The world will become a sunnier and brighter place that fills us with joy when we grow in friendship with Jesus Vhrist this Advent.