Can you ever find a work-life balance?
Photo by shurkin_son on Freepik
It’s a question we all face and to be honest, there never seems to be an easy answer. No matter if we work full time, part time or if our work is staying at home full time with children running the home, there is always difficulty in striking the balance between when we’re ‘on’ working and when we’re ‘off’ resting.
The Hearts+Minds team spoke to three busy women, from all walks of life, who shared some tips that can help us all find that elusive balance.
Be fully present in whatever you’re doing
“I remember once coming home and trying to make dinner for my young children after a late evening at work. I had left in a rush and still had a mountain of work to tackle before the next day. In the middle of stirring saucepans and setting out plates, I was still trying to read emails and edit documents for the next day, in the false hope of being more efficient and ‘getting more done.’ By the end of dinner, I felt so exhausted I could barely even make it through the wash up and bedtime…let alone sit down to prepare for the next day at work. What I did realise was that I had missed a golden opportunity to reconnect with my children, hear their stories from the day and actually enjoy our meal together. Had I been more present - giving myself to the moment completely rather than allowing distractions - I would have been more refreshed and ready to tackle the demands of the evening.”
Be clear on your boundaries
“After years of taking on whatever work needed to be done in the interests of being a team player, I finally realised that although the work I was doing was beneficial to everyone, my personal life was suffering. I never felt I could switch off. I always felt that I had to take on more because I’m not married. I do believe that being of service is important but perhaps I was becoming a doormat for others, and perhaps they weren’t taking their professional work as seriously as they should. When it got to the stage that I was putting off meeting friends and putting hobbies on hold, I started to put into place clear boundaries. Especially when it comes to working after hours. Sometimes I even had to practise what I would say to build up my confidence! Gradually, I became more confident about my boundaries and now it doesn’t cost me a second thought. I do what I can to help the team and I always remember that I need to prioritise my own health and sanity if I want to be of service.”
Recognise what you can and can’t do
“Going from working full time outside the home to being a stay at home mum was a decision my husband and I made very freely because we knew it was the right thing for our family. The one difficulty I had was adjusting to the fact that my time was never my own - there are definitely no clear beginning and end times when you’re dealing with small children! I began to find myself ‘working’ all the time, from the minute I woke up dealing with the demands of breakfast to the last thing at night, getting that quick load of laundry folded before bed, but was still left feeling frustrated by all the things I felt I ‘had’ to do. I gradually became so exhausted that eventually I had to set a cut off point. If it doesn’t get done after a certain time, then it has to be left for another time. I began making myself a list of priorities for each day that was actually realistic. From that I would pick one thing that I wanted to achieve that day: my daily highlight. If I achieve that, it’s been a productive day and I can be more at peace about all those things that didn’t get done.”
We’d love to hear from you! What tips could you add for our readers in the search for a work-life balance?