4 ways to build better habits
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto
How many times do we tell ourselves stories that actually hold us back from achieving the things we want in a day? I’m not talking about huge tasks. Very often, these are simple, normal, everyday things. Perhaps wanting to read more, or wanting to exercise more. Perhaps it’s writing out a meal plan or getting our wardrobe into some kind of order. If we can’t achieve it, we tell ourselves the lie that maybe we’re ‘just not that kind of person.’
Many times in my life, I have found myself wondering how others manage to be so good at the particular thing I may find myself struggling with. I would look at others and say, “well she’s just a bit more organised than I am” or “I’m not really a sporty person” or “I suppose punctuality is just in her nature.” Instead of thinking about what steps I could take to improve, the comparison made me freeze up.
A simple approach to better habits
Discovering the work of James Clear in his book Atomic Habits was a real eye opener for me. The overall premise is incredibly simple and that’s what surprised me most about the book. He defines a habit as “a behaviour that has been repeated enough times to become automatic.” But obviously, we can build habits that are either beneficial for us or negative.
Whenever we face a challenge or a problem in our day, our brain automatically searches for a solution and thus the chain of building a habit begins. When we encounter this problem again, our brain follows the same path to solve the problem with minimum energy and maximum efficiency. The process of building habits which are more beneficial for us are actually achievable if we pay attention to our behaviours and actions.
In his book, Clear suggests a number or ways that will help you to build better habits. I do recommend reading the book but until you do, here’s a brief synopsis of 4 simple steps you can implement.
Have an obvious plan
When we think about what habit we’d like to build then we need to be aware of what we’re actually doing instead. Being aware of our current behaviours and actions means we are far more likely to notice what needs to improve or where we need to take action. That means we can then become very clear on our goals. We can take specific action that helps to achieve that goal - not hinder it. If I know I want to become a better reader, or more punctual or take more exercise, I can look at my current habits then make very specific goals in order to help me improve.
Design your environment
I often associated new goals and habits with being motivated and yes, motivation does go a long way in helping us to achieve. However, Clear argues that our environment matters more. No matter how motivated we are to eat more healthily, it’s very hard to resist the biscuit jar if we keep it on the kitchen bench, in plain view! In other words, we should make the environment around us as positive as possible in order to make building this new habit as easy as possible.
Start and keep repeating - no matter what
It might sound obvious but the more we repeat a habit, the more that habit becomes part of our nature. In the past, I have found myself deflated by one small blip in the road to building a habit and that deflation led to a feeling of failure which then led to giving up completely! It’s because I was focused on the end goal. I neglected to see that any effort and progress up to the point of my ‘blip’ wasn’t wasted. It’s more helpful to be aware of the fact that some days, you won’t do as well as you’d like and to have a plan for failure. You might say, ok I’ll try to never have two days in a row without going for a run, rather than feeling you have completely failed when you missed one day. If we focus on the process of repeating the habit, no matter what, rather than the end goal of what we want to do or become, the habit is much more likely to stick.
Rewards along the way
Whether we are aware of it or not, the actions we take in our day give us a certain reward or feel good hit. This is a driving force behind the way we act and the habits we build. If we want to keep repeating a habit, then we need to actually like it! Very often, the better habits we are trying to build might have an immediate consequence for us, but the actual ‘reward’ is delayed. So we need to find a way of bringing a reward into the process. We could try giving ourselves short term feedback, like acknowledging how many times we repeated our habit in a week. That acknowledgment becomes a reward in itself and we start to believe something positive about ourselves and our ability to achieve our goals.
Building habits is building virtue
Having helpful habits is a great thing yet habits are more than just ‘nice things we do’ to make us more productive or to help us achieve a particular goal. I believe it is actually a prerequisite to building virtue. A virtue by definition is simply a firm and habitual disposition to do ‘the good,’ in any given situation. When we practise particular habits, that are either for our good or for the benefit of others, we are actually growing in virtue too.
As Clear states in his book, “true behaviour change is true identity change.” We actually become a certain type of person based on our actions. If we make a concentrated effort to be more punctual, we become the type of person who values our time and the time of others. If we try to be more patient with ourselves on a task, we become the type of person who is more patient and understanding of others and their struggles. If we try to build better habits around eating, we become the type of person who can show restraint and temperance, in all areas.
Clear is very adamant that if we can transform our habits, we can transform our life. It might sound like a lofty idea but it is very achievable; “every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become” and better habits can lead us to becoming a more virtuous person.
